acutally, i should say that it was interesting from the very start... some cute girls in class... but 1 who really stood out to me...

her name's marie... cute, white girl... bit shorter than me... petite... just cute... not hot... don't really know her yet, but she seems like a fun person...

situation was that she's in beginning and i'm in intermediate volleyball... so the coach immediately splits the groups right after warm-up... not even a slight chance for interaction... week or so goes by... and 'life' keeps pulling on my leg... i see her constantly around... whenever i'm leaving or going back to my house... when i go to school... drive out to do errands... etc...

this past thursday, i decide to wash my car in the alley... no one is ever there... or even passes through the alley... so i'm washing my car... finish... about to move my car back into the garage... and there she is... with some other people... walking through the alley... most likely heading to school...

long before, i guessed that she lived kinda near my area... that thursday pretty much confirmed it for me... so it's kinda like a reason to at least introduce myself to her... it's just that it kinda bugs me when i see someone from a class... constantly... they see me too... and we can't really say anything to each other 'cause we really haven't introduced or even said anything to each other in class... it makes me feel like i'm being rude... now my main drive (intent) to introducing myself to this girl is to aquaint myself to her, so we can at least acknowledge each other when we happen to run into each other...  of course my second intent was to 'break the ice' so we could at least be on talking terms instead of trading quick glances...

saw harold & kumar go to white castle...  it was pretty funny... just didn't stand to the hype that it had.

after, had dinner with the gang:
will, cindy, ed, baby anne, annie, james, edwin, nate, and ikoi...  even though i knew ikoi for only a few weeks... i feel kinda sad that she has to leave... but it's cool... she'll be back on the 30th... oh yeah... she's a japanese exchange student who's gonna finish college here... she's just going back to japan to visit her family.

crashed at will's house yesterday... had a dream... i'd sorta call it a bad dream... but can't really say... it was a dream that flashed through my life... life of being alone... the only good times i had were with friends... dreamt about moving out too... nothing more... it was pretty sad... i woke up with my eyes watery... i can't say that the dream was completely bad because i've never known what it's like to be with anyone... so it's like i never missed anything.
anyway...

see ya when you get back ikoi!

-the cloud will get better some day-

first off... wanna start w/ the weekend...

i had to turn down will and cindy for going to vegas fri-sat... i just didn't feel like going out too far... but i know where all of that is coming from.  the weekend was cool... hung out with will and the family again... played lots of cards... will, his brothers, and some friends... texas hold'em, pussoi dos, blackjack, gin... fun, fun... friends came over and that was fun... everyone's cool with each other... had some drinks, ate... cards... watched family guy before KO.... family guy is so hilarious... when i try to think of my favorite parts/episodes... i just can't 'cause they're all pretty much funny.
today, went to run little errands with will and cindy... went to target.. they needed some things and saw some on sale... i bought soul calibur 2 for $16.... also picked up one of those water bottles that chris has... i found a really nice teal color... of course i wanted some type of green... pigged out at a sushi bar in pasadena... had a little san soju (korean vodka)... probably the only hard liquor i can can take straight... back home to more friends and cards... haha... "good stuff... good stuff.." (old school)

things aren't just flowing right... like when i have fun... i'm having fun at the moment... and then i'm back to feeling down... it's not that bad... but still... i was never like that... it's this whole thing where i feel like i lost something... when in fact... i really never had anything anyway... geez... ana maria... but i know what it is... it's just that she's so incredibly beautiful... even despite how bitter i am... or how i feel about how she's just played me (a little)... i can't deny and not say that she's one of the most beautiful girls i've seen... and i'm talking about physically and social being... of course there are lots of cute girls out there... but sometimes, i never get to see the social part of them... but heck... she's going to be some sort of model (or probably is by now)...

thursday bowling and friday miniature golf...

i bowled pretty well on thursday... started to compete with myself... got a 152... my highest for the night... but i ruined some good games.  it's all good though... it was a blast... got a little tipsy that night... pretty much confirms that being loose from booze helps me in bowling.  haha!

crashed and hungout with will the past couple days...

it was pretty fun... yesterday... went rollerskating at the moonlight roller rink in glendale... it's been such a long time since i was last there... trying to rollerskate was fun... i lost my sense of balance since i've been off of my longboard for over a month... but i was sorta getting my balance back... it was fun overall, but my ankles weren't allowing me to keep skating... i only went around the rink about 6-7 times... and we were there for a couple hours...

the regret kicks in 'cause of one of the workers at the rink... a really cute white girl that goes around the rink and watches people if they need help or got hurt, plus helps with getting people their rollerskates... besides picking up my skates, we made eye contact a couple times... of course i gotta smile... something i forget to do sometimes... and one time she smiled at me first... but i also gotta put everything else in consideration... past few girls that blew me off... the types of girls they appeared to me (nice)... etc...

reasons why i didn't talk to her or ask her out... first, is a little bit of rejection (not a big part for me at the time)... second, was i thought about the other girls i asked out... third, was that i assumed that she was seeing someone / or had a bf (she talked to some guy that worked there too.. a slight assumption... nothing that really bothered me).  but heck... never thought i'd regret it this much... to even mention it here.

my last entry didn't make it through... and i'm sorta pissed 'cause i spent time trying to put it together... then it just gets lost.

just to sum up the entry that didn't make it...
-hung out w/ liza, my sis
-we ate over at the citywalk
-i had a burger called "el fuego" (the fire in spanish)
-it put me on the threshold of crying
-overall, just a really cool, chill night

i just got updated with my other tennis girlie... (actually, my first fav)
Justine Henin-Hardenne
i knew her as just justine henin... but anyways, i found out that she won the US Open and the French Open... also that she was #1... i'm pretty happy for her... even though i haven't been following tennis lately...

but today...
ouch.
so bored.
nothing to do.
can't think of anything to do.
ouch.

hung out w/ will though.. that was cool... ed's back from korea... probably will hang out with them again tomorrow... that's if nothing else happens.

driving brought me a smile tonight... stared right into the red light... only for it to turn that bright green.

-the cloud is green and i feel free-

4th of july and the day after was fun, tiring, and chill.  hung out at will's house.  we practically ate all day...
hamburger, hamburger, light alcohol, buzzed, swimming, more hamburgers, buzzing again, food coma, chill, play video games.

living the lazy man's life was fun.  ed is out in korea still.  he actually gets back today.  but hanging out with everyone else was cool...
will, cindy, erik, james, and his gf.  john was supposed to come, but i guess things came up.  it's like living with my second family again.  i was really spoiled this weekend... fed and pampered like a baby.

i just copied this from my hard journal... not really finished with thoughts, but whatever.

today, i only got 5 hours of sleep... had to take my car in for it's oil change... other than that... just lounged around at home... eat... games... tv... watching lots of texas hold'em... tried to play b-ball, but didna work.

the days are still rough around the edges... even though they shouldn't be... i'm still thinking about ana maria sporadically... it's not good for me... i wish i could forget... but my mind doesn't allow me to.  it's not even worth it to think about her.. if she doesn't even want to call... be friends... then i shouldn't stress about it.. i don't know why my mind can't understand that.

music is my #1 relaxer... ya know what song i've been loving a lot lately?
bob marley - no woman no cry

friday.  saw spiderman 2 w/ lena, albert, and sherrille...

okay started slow... woke up late, had breakfast (even though it was past noon), played some video games, and then cleaned up around the house a bit.

then i promised will that i'd hang out w/ him... just to grab a bite... before i go bowling... it was cool... went over to hillstreet cafe in LC... it was morrigan's last day working there... i think she's been there for as long as i've known her... she's cool... her other waitress co-worker was cute... thought i'd slip that in there... heh.

got late to go bowling 'cause john wanted to get a 3rd jack on the rocks and will got a 2nd vodka/sprite drink...

bowling was fun though... albert, lena, phil, sal, nina and a friend showed up... it was fun... went over to jewel city first since it was late already... then decided to go over to some place in LA.  it was fun anyway... just not the same vibe... 80's music, tipsy lanes... but well waxed lanes, lots of arcades, and foosball.

i'm totally getting back into following my gal, daniela...

did practically nothing... cleaned up my room a bit, fixed up some laundry.

i played b-ball today for about 3 1/2 hours today... that was pretty fun.

i was telling my friend jonathan that i'm always heading in the opposite direction of good luck, but i gotta see past that and just enjoy the good times while they're lasting.

wish i had more people to play sports with... it seems to be a good release for all the crap that has been bringing me down lately.  thing is, that i only know people who like basketball.  i miss my tennis, volleyball, and golf classes.

speaking of tennis... my girl... daniela hantuchova isn't doing to well... it's been such a long time since i've followed tennis... but i came around to watching wimbledon and found out that she got eliminated in the 2nd round... what a f*ckin crapper... i hope she still isn't losing weight either... i think she was having a problem w/ that.
i miss watching her play. 

i miss too many things.